On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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