Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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