Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my gift to your gina
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
A bitchslap is in order.
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