I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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