Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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