I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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