I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize