I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
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I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize