just survived the first fart of the relationship.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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