I feel like I'm in dance class right now
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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