may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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