I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
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I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
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No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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