8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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