Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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