Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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