first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize