dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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