I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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