It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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