You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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