He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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