She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize