dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize