woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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