If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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