yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
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Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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