i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize