Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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