even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize