did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
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