I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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