If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize