glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
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It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
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Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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