sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Enjoy the penises
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize