I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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