Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
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I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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