does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize