Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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