This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize