I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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