Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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