Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize