i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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