that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Boobs speak an international language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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