Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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