you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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