She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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