sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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