I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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