Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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