I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize